If I were to describe my 3 year old, Fisher, I would have to say a little mischievous, full of personality and full of love. This little kid always has a twinkle in his eye and is usually up to something... He melts my heart and loves to be at my side ALL THE TIME. We are two peas in a pod. I love his company and everything he brings to our family.
Bedtime can be a struggle with this little guy. One particular night he kept coming out of his bed. I told him that if he gets out again I will have to put him in the crib in the other room. This was true punishment for Fisher, not only would he not be in the same room as his siblings, but he would be in a CRIB. I can't think of anything Fisher hates worse than being treated like a baby. He can't stand it. Well... you guessed it... that little boy got out of his bed. SO...I had to do it (I remember wishing that that wasn't the consequence that I had chosen to get him to stay in bed). I picked Fisher up from his Lightening McQueen toddler bed and took him to the other room and put him in the crib. Well, of course my little monkey started to climb out of his crib. So, I gently took his leg and slid it back down into the crib. Over and over again we did this, while he was yelling at the top of his lungs.This continued for way to long, and I was starting to lose my patience. I wasn't quite sure what would keep us from continuing throughout the night this way (he's a pretty determined little guy), and I started to feel like I was running out of options. I finally got the idea that maybe if I yelled back at him he would think I was really serious and stop yelling at me and we could end this craziness!!
I don't think he's ever heard me yell before, and at the least, maybe it would be shocking and he would stop for a minute. So I did it. I yelled at him "DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN I YELL AT YOU, DON'T YELL AT ME!".
It breaks my heart to remember the look on his face when I did this. It didn't work, and that was it, he lost it even more! He screamed how stupid I was and pulled out every other naughty word he could think of. If there was any reasoning to be had with Fisher before,it was gone now. I felt in my heart, as I was yelling, that I shouldn't have done it. I felt out of control, and he was definitely out of control too. My heart broke as I picked my little screaming baby up and just held him. He melted in my arms and we both just cried.
Parenting is hard! Each kid is so different! I want my kids to thrive and be happy. I want them to have boundaries but also be able to free. I want them to trust I will respect them and also know that I expect them to respect me and others. I have been able to learn some great techniques and tricks with parenting (which I'm super grateful for), but sometimes there are those times that you just don't know what to do! I've thought a lot about how we can react in parenting with either love or fear. Love bares fruits of patience, kindness, consistency, selflessness. Fear bares impatience, selfishness, inconsistency, loss of control. Love endures all and is the ultimate teacher. Love doesn't always bring instant conformity, but invites and entices our children to do good. It inspires.
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